Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
