and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
