Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
