My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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