Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
