My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
