I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
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he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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