I'm jealous of your bromance
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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