i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize