Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
