their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
