I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize