And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
A bitchslap is in order.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize