I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you made out with another girl for some wings
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
