i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
