So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize