Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Holy shit dude........stairs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize