Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
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so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
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ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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