i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
