You work out of a Hotel?
I puked a lego.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
