The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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