I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
