I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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