I'm going to jail i love you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
