Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
