; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
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I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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