NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
