Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
