This beer is not sobering me up at all
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
