If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
