And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Terrible idea I love it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
