Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
