Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
