umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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