i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
