I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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