im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
