those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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