Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I had to cum in my sink.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
