Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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