sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
