He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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