I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize