This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am in a vortex of obligation.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
