Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My vagina just recognized that song.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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