There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize