Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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