before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize