I want you more than these girls want KFC
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
