my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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