IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
