Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
