therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
