he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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