that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
