I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
