i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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